


A Foray in Morals

by GremlinMan



Category: Daredevil (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 11:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18690694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GremlinMan/pseuds/GremlinMan
Summary: “Hi, Frank.” She sounds genuinely pleased to talk to him, which is a rarity these days. He savors it in silence for a few seconds. “I need to ask a favor.”Oh, okay. Sounds reasonable enough.“Absolutely not.”





	A Foray in Morals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deniigiq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deniigiq/gifts).



> a fic about a fic...

Frank is cleaning his guns when he receives a call. From an unknown number. So it’s probably Karen. 

 

“‘Ello?” He grunts, shifting the rifle in his lap for a better angle. 

 

“Hi, Frank.” She sounds genuinely pleased to talk to him, which is a rarity these days. He savors it in silence for a few seconds. “I need to ask a favor.”

 

Oh, okay. Sounds reasonable enough.

 

“Absolutely not.” 

 

“Frank.” Uh-oh,  _ that’s  _ a tone. He sets his cleaning rag down and clicks the pieces of the rifle back together. 

 

“What.”

 

“Unless you want a murderer loose in Hell’s Kitchen, you’d better get your ass over here. Just,” she sighs heavily, and he can tell how tired she is. “Just until Wade or Foggy gets back. Please, Frank.” 

 

Aw, hell. 

* * *

 

So she wants him to babysit Red. But it’s not actually Red, but Red-Adjacent. Red from another universe. 

 

All right. Sounds fake, but all right. 

 

She texts him an address, but it’s not one he recognizes. He wonders who’s it is, then decides he doesn’t care. 

 

When he gets there, he makes sure to slam the door on the car particularly loudly, to notify Karen of his presence and possibly scare away Red-Adjacent. 

 

He hopes it scares away Red-Adjacent, but as no dumbasses go crawling out windows in broad daylight, he has to assume it didn’t work.

 

He tromps up the stairs and knocks patiently on the door. Or, you know, bangs his fist loud enough to piss off a neighboring cat. Six of one, half dozen of another. 

 

Karen answers, tossing a wave of blond hair over her shoulder. “Oh, good. You’re here. Come in, I’ll make tea.” 

 

Frank does not, in fact,  _ want  _ tea but he has a keen sense of self-preservation skills (despite what everyone else seems to think) so he keeps his damn trap shut and accepts the leaf juice graciously. He takes three courtesy sips and then sets it down with no intention of ever picking it back up again. 

 

Karen is seated across from him, working on something quickly. She does not notice his discarded tea. 

 

“So,” He starts, ignoring the awkward tension in the air. “Where’s the, uh, Not-Red?” 

 

“Oh, I locked him in the bathroom.” Karen states flippantly, circling something on a paper. “He’s in timeout for trying to break my window again.” 

 

Oh. Perfectly reasonable. 

 

Said bathroom door cracks, heaves, and bursts open. Karen pays this no mind. Out stalks Red, sans Daredevil gettup, white stick in one hand and sword in the other, with a snarl on his lips. 

 

He  _ looks  _ similar enough to the Matt of this world, if Matt got rolled out like a piece of dough. He’s sharper, younger, angrier. A bit taller, a bit thinner. 

 

Not-Red notices him, cocks his head. He looks interested for a few seconds, then he lights the fuck up and darts across the room, flopping down before squirming across the couch to shove himself into Frank’s lap, his teeth a scratch of pearly white in the midst of his pale face. 

 

“Well hello there, Mr. Punisher. I heard a rumor that you like to kill people in this horrible universe. Whaddya say we team up, wreak some havoc?” He croons. 

 

“What.” Frank says, blinking down at the uncomfortably familiar face. 

 

“Just some light stabbing, maybe a touch of murder. Sound fun?” 

 

Faster than he’s ever moved before, he dumps the Not-Red off his lap and hauls himself over the back of the couch, hand snapping to his thigh holster only to be reminded of Karen’s ‘No Guns Indoors’ rule. 

 

Not-Red pops up from where he’s been tossed to the floor, grinning sharply. 

 

“C’mon, don’t be a prude. It’s all in good fun, right?” 

 

  1.  IT’S NOT. 



 

He turns to Karen, waving his hands. “Is- is Nelson here? We need Nelson- a Nelson. ANY Nelson. Is he- is one of them available? Or, fuck, maybe we need Jesus. Karen. Karen stop laughing, this is a serious problem-” 

 

She waves him away, shoving paper into a bag and picking up her heels. “Matt- uh,  _ our  _ Matt, should be by soon with Wade to deal with…  _ that. _ Until then, just make sure he doesn’t kill anyone, okay? Can you do that Frank?” She pads to the bedroom to grab something without giving him a chance to reply. 

 

Red-Adjacent pouts, then brightens. “I could let you do the stabbing if you want? Or, I dunno, shooting? What do you do?” 

 

NOTHING. He does NOTHING,  _ especially  _ not with this deranged Murdock. 

 

“C’mon,” Not-Murdock coos. “Just a  _ little. _ ” 

  
  


It’s at this point that Frank hears the click of the front door shutting and realizes that Karen has, effectively,  _ stranded  _ him with a psycho Daredevil from another universe.

* * *

 

When REAL-Red and motherfuckin’ Deadpool finally show up, after the sun has already set, it’s to find Frank Castle, AKA The Punisher, sitting on a squirming blanket, trying to explain the difference between the two. 

 

“No, listen,” He starts impatiently. “You can’t jus’ be out there, killin’ people on a whim, Red!”

 

The blanket says something, but it’s muffled.    


“No!” 

 

Wade squirms in absolute delight. 

 

“Listen- Jesus, kid. It’s- It’s a matter of what’s right, not what’s fun. What you’re doin’, it ain’t right.” 

 

Another muffled noise from the blanket. 

 

“There’s obviously a difference between us!” 

 

Wade grabs Matt’s shoulder, clearly charmed by this wild turn of events. 

 

Matt, while also charmed, decides that they need to separate these two before something catastrophic happens. 

 

When he informs Frank of this, he does the only logical thing: he picks up the angry Not-Red Burrito and slings him over his shoulder. 

 

Let’s go,” he growls, ignoring Red-Adjacent’s struggling. 

 

Matt points a flat look in his direction, but doesn’t comment. Wade coos. 

 

Peter, when they get to his apartment, also doesn’t comment. Just shoves him through a glowing rift and tosses his cane and sword after him, dusting imaginary dirt off his hands and proceeding to kick everyone else out, citing “Paperwork, y’all. A shitton of paperwork”. 

 

They convene on top of a building, as is customary of those who stalk in the night. 

 

“Jesus,” Frank sighs, scrubbing a hand across his scalp. “After that, I’m gonna need a good ol’ fashioned Mass.” 

 

Red’s head whips around, the circular lenses of his glasses flashing in the evening light, obscuring his eyes. The tilt of his head is curious, and Frank thinks, maybe, just maybe, he’s made a mistake. 

 

“Is that what it takes to get you to church?” 

 

Wait. Wait, no-

 

He reaches out to- to stop him, restrain him, knock him the fuck out, he hadn’t decided, but Red ducks and takes off, hauling ass over the edge of the building. 

 

Fuck. 

* * *

 

Matt crawls into Foggy’s apartment at exactly 2:45 in the morning, squirming through his window and onto his chest, gently slapping him until he wakes up, repeating “Foggy, Nelson, Franklin, guess who I just met, Foggy guess what, Foggy-” 

 

“ _ What,”  _ Foggy hisses, slinging an arm over his eyes. 

 

“I just met a Frank Castle. Who's a wanted _criminal_ .” 

 

Foggy’s muddled brain takes a few seconds to catch up, but when it does he sits upright and dislodges errant idiots from his chest. 

 

“No fuckin’ way,” he breathes. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> It Is Done
> 
> uhh?? here??? man idk what i'm doing 
> 
> inspired by, like, all of deniigi's works, which I love with all of my heart
> 
> Hmu @ gremlin-man-bastard-child on tumblr


End file.
